Pollution is a very serious enviromental problem . There are many kinds of pollution : air pollution , sound pollution and marine pollution . Egypt suffers from all kinds of pollution . I'll write about air pollution as clean air is very important to live healthy .
There are several causes of air pollution . first, smoke which releases from cars . Second, The factories which are built every where . Third, the use of spray cans e.g. insecticides , perfumes etc .
As a result of air pollution , diseases are widespread , temperature becomes so high and therefore lack of crops .
To solve this problem people and the government should do their best . Cars should use clean petrol . Factories should be built far from cities . A lot of trees should be planted every where .
To sum up , air pollution is a very serious problem which threaten our lifes and our remaining on earth so, people and the government should co-operate to over come this problem .
There are several causes of air pollution . first, smoke which releases from cars . Second, The factories which are built every where . Third, the use of spray cans e.g. insecticides , perfumes etc .
As a result of air pollution , diseases are widespread , temperature becomes so high and therefore lack of crops .
To solve this problem people and the government should do their best . Cars should use clean petrol . Factories should be built far from cities . A lot of trees should be planted every where .
To sum up , air pollution is a very serious problem which threaten our lifes and our remaining on earth so, people and the government should co-operate to over come this problem .
Thanks alot Fatma for writing the draft. Really I liked your essay very much. Yet, I want you to make the essay longer. Try to add more details and write it again and send it.
ردحذفtry to correct the following mistakes:
ردحذف1. As a result of air pollution , diseases are (omit "are") widespread (ed) , temperature becomes so high and therefore (there is a) lack of crops .
2. air pollution is a very serious problem which threaten (s) our lifes (and our remaining, omit) on earth so, people and the government should co-operate to over come this problem
Your essay is good as it has clear main idea ,words are very clear ,but you have to make the essay longer than that.Good luck.
ردحذفnice draft ya fatoom...you should make your draft longer as Dr samah told you,your words are clear, try to write more details about every point
ردحذفgood work fatma ,your essay has clear main idea your sentences are clear and direct , try to give more information and more details.your introduction and conclusion are clear.
ردحذفHey Ftoma, your essay is a good one . It has a specific purpose and a concise main idea. your words are clear and simple but I think you need to use much more information and take care of capitalization as some words at the beggining of sentences are not capitalized such as "i'll"at the first paragraph and "first"at the second paragraph...keep working toma good luck
ردحذف