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Facebook has been a widely known name among people who are so into it. People who have their account on Facebook are using more of their time to get in touch with other individuals despite the distance and lack of time. Facebook has been a great community for many people, it has its advantages and disadvantages.
The advantages of facebook are several . Facebook Lets user search for new and old friends . Makes it less difficult when communicating with strangers or |individuals you do not know . Makes it |simpler to join groups having corresponding likes and dislikes . Lets users to check students who are in the same class, living within the same location, or coming from the same academy .
In spite of the advantages of facebook , it also has many disadvantages . Long distance may weaken relationships between people . facebook is unsupported by physical adjacency . Stalking is possible in facebook . Acquaintances be labeled as friends . In addition to the addiction of facebook .
In my point of view , in spite of the Facebook advantages and disadvantages, it still is getting demand and popularity among the young people. There are about 10,000 students who are joining Facebook everyday. We may use facebook to be in touch with our friends and to keep up with current events but we should use it carefully and under supervisor of our parents .
Your draft is good and organized but there sre some corrections such as:
ردحذف1. Makes it less difficult when communicating with strangers or |individuals you do not know (wrong structure rewrite the sentence).
2. Makes it |simpler to join groups having corresponding likes and dislikes(wrong structure rewrite the sentence).
3. facebook is unsupported by physical adjacency (what does this sentence mean?).
4. In my point of view , in spite of the Facebook advantages(the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook)
5. In my point of view , in spite of the Facebook advantages(the advantages and disadvantages of Facebook) and disadvantages, it still is getting(it is still in demand and popular) demand and popularity among the young people.
You addressed a very important issue in our society. Your essay is so amazing. The main idea is so clear. The intoduction is so attractive. You have show us in this essay your attitude towards this topic and you show the counter opinion.Your conclusion is sufficient. But you have to take care of the structures of some sentences. All in all welldone fatma and i hope the best for you in all your life.
ردحذفhi,tumtum.very good choice .your essay is very organized and well-developed.your introduction is attractive and the evidence you used, is very accurate.but you have to take care of using structres.
ردحذف..you talked about a nice topic..your words are clear and simple, you introduced the idea in a good way,
ردحذفIts anew and needed topic, i liked it most
ردحذفIt has an important idea we should care about it's disadvantages
But in disadvantages paragraph there are sentences difficult to understand try to make it more simple
But it is agood idea and expressive about what happen in our days